THE RUCKED FILES – No.14
Sheffield Oaks RFC
Who are you?
We are Sheffield Oaks RUFC, founded in 1977 as an ‘old boys’ club for ex-pupils of Myers Grove School. The school has since stopped playing rugby; and the pool of potential players has shrunk. We currently play in the Yorkshire 5A league.
Why should we care about you?
From tiny acorns grow mighty oaks. Once we were the trailblazers of Sheffield rugby: now we’re the laughing stock and are fighting for survival.
But what makes you different from the rest?
Because we are desperate! We train under the light pollution from some floodlit tennis courts in a park opposite Hillsborough football stadium. We have no scrum machine; because the old one had to be sold for scrap as it continually gave the front row SARS!
What was your finest moment?
Easily the five consecutive promotions won during the club’s infancy – something of a record in the rugby world. We also won the Yorkshire cup. And could put out four teams on any given match day. But it has all faded from memory, apart from in the mind of club officer Peter Selkirk; who’ll spend three hours filling you in on the history of the club whilst supping a half of lager, it doesn’t matter if your eyes glaze over – he’ll keep talking…
And your worst?
Probably we would have to say the present. We are rooted to the bottom of Yorkshire league 5a, without a victory all season. We have to move grounds soon. We are haemorrhaging players and struggling to put out one consistent team on Saturdays. But we have a new coach (Jamie Grace) – who is trying to work miracles.
Any famous players (past or present)?
Zayed Kattergra has played rugby for the power house of African rugby that is… Uganda. Veteran scrum half Paul ‘Bonzo’ Crookes is famous (in his own way) for claiming to be the first man to successfully perform heart transplant surgery after practising on boilers – after all, in his words: “Once you’ve seen one heart you’ve seen them all – I’d like to see a surgeon fix a boiler”.
Any current players who are a bit special?
The forever young Mark Fretwell (No.8 or centre). Special in the head and on the pitch, the only man who is still around from the club’s glory days. No-one knows how old he is but so long as he keeps pissing on the opposition as well as the pitch everyone is happy! Zayed Kattergra (second-row), when he can drag himself out of the library is a one man destruction ball. Dave ‘The Bear’ (tight-head prop/second-row) emerged from hibernation to smash his paw of fury on the opposition this season.
Describe your club in three words?
Changing. Hungry. Desperate.
What are you after?
Some publicity, some more players, some money, a new ground and a scrum machine! A win would be nice too… Is that too unreasonable?
If we want to find out more?
Check out the website www.sheffieldoaks.com, email sheffield_oaks@yahoo.com or if you are a stalker check out the facebook group. Alternatively call the club captain (Stuart Whiteley) on 07886 823 063.
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