Harlequins and England sevens’ wingman Ugo Monye takes time out to talk a bit of nonsense with www.rucked.com
Q. What was your favourite cartoon character as a kid and why?
A. I quite like The Simpsons so I’d have to say Bart – he’s a bit of a rebel, funny and a little bit different.
Q. Which team-mate would you least like to fight?
A. Chris Hala’Ufia – he’d probably end up eating my head after he’s finished because he’s a bit of a savage. He’s a tough man.
Q. How many profiteroles can you eat in one sitting?
A. Er, 19.
Q. And how many donuts?
A. If they were Krispy Kremes, at least 12.
Q. What was the best rugby tour ever and why?
A. I’d say the Churchill Cup a couple of years ago when we went to Canada. We had a great team, good coaching staff, we won and socially it was good fun too because everyone got on so well. It was good because we enjoyed ourselves and did the job too.
Q. Who thinks he’s the best player in your team?
A. Ha ha… I’m going to go for the captain, Volls (Paul Volley) – he’s not short of confidence. He’s certainly not afraid to back himself.
Q. What was your most memorable team talk?
A. That’s a tough one but I would probably go for one when I was with the Barbarians, given by Bobby Skinstad. I didn’t know him, but I’d heard that he was a bit of a legend. The night before the game he told us to go out and enjoy ourselves (within reason), yet ended being the last back in the hotel. He looked a bit tired the next day when he gave us a speech about pride and performance, but it was really good and got us all fired up. That’s the mark of a man: when he’s a great player but he knows how to enjoy himself.
Q. Who’s the worst-dressed player at Quins?
A. I’ll have a little dig at Mike Brown – because he’ll copy whatever I buy. That’s not saying that what I buy is crap, but when he wears it, it’ll look crap!
Q. Ever squealed like a girl in a game? If so, why?
A. No – and even if I had I wouldn’t tell you…
Q. Who would you most like to streak at in one of your games?
A. Um, I don’t know, I think the crowd would like to see John Kingston streak – that’d be just hilarious…
Q. And who would you least like to streak?
A. John Kingston.
Q. What’s the best thing to happen to you in rugby?
A. I suppose just being given opportunity to play for a huge club such as Quins (who I supported as a schoolboy). And the chance to go away and play for my country at ‘A’ grade and sevens. I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but the best friends I have are those I’ve met through rugby – so the opportunity to meet them has to be in there too.
Q. And the worst?
A. Injuries – they’re the most frustrating thing to happen to a rugby player and I’ve had my fair share…
Q. Tell us something about you that not many people know?
A. I used to own a dog but it only lasted five days. I had a girlfriend at the time and she was the one pushing for it, but our relationship ended and so the dog had to go…
Q. Favourite joke?
A. I’ve got some got some really long jokes, but how about this: What will you call Postman Pat when he retires? Pat.
Q. What’s the best wind-up you’ve seen?
A. I heard of a great one from Will Skinner when he was at Leicester. A load of academy guys egged his car and, in return, Will and some lads dressed up as army guys with full combat gear and camouflage and swarmed into the academy house. They shouted something about being terrorists and bundled them all into the back of a van. The boys were crying apparently, but it was Will telling us so it could’ve been anything…
Q. What’s your best talent outside of rugby?
A. I’m glad you’re asking me and not the boys, I don’t have many to be honest. I’d say singing in the shower – I don’t have a favourite song at the moment, but any good power ballad will do.
Q. You have one day left to live – what do you do?
A. That’s quite an interesting question – I would go home and spend time with the family. I know it’s boring but that’s what I’d do.
Q. What’s your most prized possession?
A. As rugby is my career I’d have to say my body.
Q. Finish this sentence: rugby is better than football because…
A. it’s pure sport and not theatre…
Got a pointless – or even funny, we do them too – question that you’d like to ask a rugby player? If so email to them at nowlistenhere@rucked.com
