This week, Edinburgh flanker Simon Cross mutters under his breath at the fact he’s got to answer silly questions such as those delivered by rucked.com
Q. He-Man or Skeletor?
A. He-Man.
Q. If not a rugby player...
A. Army officer.
Q. Most memorable team-talk you’ve ever had?
A. Pretty much any of Todd Blackadder’s, he was a pretty intense guy before a game. And everything he said made sense.
Q. Do you believe in dinosaurs?
A. Oh yeah, of course.
Q. If you were a super-hero who would you be and why?
A. Ray Mears, I think he’s a super hero, he’s great at bush craft. If I can’t be him I’d be He-Man though, he’s got a big sword!
Q. Who thinks he’s the best player at the club?
A. Very well worded that. Hmm, Hugo Southwell – he thinks he’s a bit special.
Q. Best wind-up you’ve had at the club?
A. Probably the best one was on me and I got this message saying I had to ring Rugby World because they wanted to do an article on me. I did just that but it turned out I wasn’t being interviewed by them, but by one of my team-mates. Bastards. Rugby World have spoken to me since though, they felt sorry for me.
Q. Which team-mate would you least like to fight?
A. Augusto Allori – because he’s an Argentinean monster.
Q. If you had to be a fruit, what would be and why?
A. A pineapple, because it’s exotic.
Q. How many profiteroles could you eat in one sitting?
A. Ah yes, bring ‘em on! I’d say 25.
Q. And how many donuts?
A. Could quite easily polish off eight or nine.
Q. Do the girls like a rugby player?
A. Yeah, we’re decent blokes.
Q. Who’s the worst-dressed person at your club?
A. Some would say me, but it has to be Geoff Cross. If I say he was going to be a doctor if not a rugby player that answers every question about his style.
Q. Skintight shirts – yes or no?
A. No, I’m a traditionalist.
Q. If you could swap lives with one rugby player for a day who would it be and why?
A. Simon Webber, because I actually want to see if he lives on this world. I don’t know what planet he lives on most of the time, but it isn’t this one!
Q. Finish this sentence: rugby is the greatest sport in the world because…
A. It gives men a chance to be men for 80 minutes.
Got a pointless – or even funny, we do them too – question that you’d like to ask a rugby player? If so email to them at nowlistenhere@rucked.com