A stalwart of the Newcastle backline,
Tom May talks Pat Butcher, Baywatch
and Beattie's socks...
Which cartoon character would you most like to be?
Buzz Lightyear – no idea why I just think he was pretty cool!
Who was your childhood crush?
Yasmin Bleeth from Baywatch. I used to watch it every Saturday when I was younger. Closely followed by Ulrika Jonsson when she was on Gladiators.
How many profiteroles can you eat in one sitting?
I tried this the other week after one of our games as there were some left over from the corporate dinner. I got to about 13 and started to feel sick so I don’t think I had many left in me. They would have come straight back up.
Which team-mate would you least like to fight and why?
Andy Perry because he is massive and was a Marine; enough said!
If you could go back in time, where would go?
The 60s for obvious reasons…
One day left to live, what do you do?
Pull a wheelie up my street on my bike.
Which team-mate is most akin to a footballer and why?
Matt Burke. He tried to be and most of the time was always trying to be as cool as he could be. He had a smaller wage packet though – just.
Favourite tour tale?
On England U21 tour to New Zealand James Grindal and Adam Balding turned everything Jamie Noon and I had in our room upside down – literally everything! We broke into their room by befriending the cleaner and Noony took a picture of me with their toothbrushes up my arse, which we sent to them in the post, when we got back!
Worst/best prank you’ve ever seen?
Best prank has to be the one above. Worst prank is probably when Liam Botham cut the ends of Ross Beattie’s socks off and put deep heat in his boxers. Definitely worst in terms of creativity!
Player you’d least like to room with and why?
Any forwards because I can’t stand people with bad hygiene and they normally smell and make it worse by snoring.
Most memorable team-talk?
Russell Winter before we played away at Brive this year. After I had listened to him he could have made me do anything!
Who thinks he’s the best player at your club?
Not sure really, one thing I do know is that John Rudd reckons he is the fastest bloke around. He just doesn’t include anyone who is quicker than him when he looks at that!
What’s your worst fear?
Public toilet door handles, taps and hand driers!
How much was your first ever wage packet?
I played against Cardiff in an Anglo-Welsh friendly as my first game and I was paid £500. As a student I was chuffed to bits.
Funniest thing your coach has ever done/said?
England Under-21 coach once said “maybe even go down the blind-side, they (French) might all be dead; stranger things have happened” Very random!
Aside from your own, who’s got the fittest missus?
None of them. They all look like Pat Butcher from Eastenders!