If anyone's got a good answer, then it's legendary England prop Jason Leonard. He gave us some quality answers to our quality Q and A...
Q. Which cartoon character would you most like to be?
A. Popeye, because I've got the forearms for it.
Q. Which former team-mate would you least like to fight?
A. Quite a few actually. Wade Dooley – because I'd most probably lose.
Q. What's your favourite tour tale?
A. I think maybe an old Lions' one. Basically one of the Welsh players comes back after three or four months in South Africa and New Zealand and, on his first night back when he's lying in bed with his wife, he jumps up in a blind panic and says 'I thought I just heard your husband at the front door'. His wife just rolls over and says 'ah, don't worry about it he's on tour for four months'.
Q. How many profiteroles could you eat in one sitting?
A. Actually quite a lot as I've got a bit of a sweet tooth – a dozen.
Q. And donuts?
A. Not really a donut person so I'll only go a couple of them.
Q. What's the most memorable team-talk you've ever had?
A. Probably the one before my first cap against Argentina by Will Carling. Not necessarily because of what he said was interesting, but while the team-talk was going on, the crowd violence in the Buenos Aires stadium was escalating. So when we came out of the team-talk pretty thumbs up we went onto the pitch and were confronted with soldiers in full military gear with machine guns and alsation dogs. So whatever Carling said went straight out of my head. But then it always did anyway...
Q. Which player used to think he was the best?
A. Austin Healey. I always thought he was one of the best who played for England because he was so versatile. But the problem was if you asked Austin Healey who the best person was that ever played for England, he's always say 'Austin Healey'.
Q. Who was the worst-dressed player?
A. Probably Dean Richards. No matter what he wore, he always looked like a bumbling No.8 – he was never going to be a clothes' horse.
Q. What's your best moment in rugby?
A. Winning the World Cup in 2003.
Q. And the worst?
A. Losing the 1991 World Cup to Australia.
Q. Do the ladies like a rugby player?
A. So I'm told.
Q. If you could change one thing about rugby...
A. I would like backs to see what it was like in the front row of a scrum, that would encourage them to stop whinging to front-rowers that they're not getting around the field enough. I'd like it to be compulsory for backs from the age of nine to 11 to do some scrummaging.
Q. What s the best practical joke you've seen in rugby?
A. Micky Skinner used to have a game he used to play with John Oliver and it was called bucketing or gateauxing. Each game they had to see who could hit the other with a bucket of ice-cold water or in the face with cake – Keystone Cops-style. So they'd always be hiding from each other and it was always entertaining for those who watched but not so funny if you got hit in the cross-fire. And it didn't just happen once, it carried on for every minute of every day for a number of years. The lengths these two sad, individuals would go to was amazing.
Q. Favourite joke?
A. Husband's sitting at home watching the racing and gets hit on the back of the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' he says. She replies: 'I've just been going through your pockets and found a girl's name and number on a bit of paper. 'Don't be silly,' he says. 'That's the name and number of a horse I bet on'.
He's sitting there again two days late and, bang, he gets hit on the back of the head with a frying pan again. 'What's that for?' he asks again. 'Your horse has just called,' she says.
Q. One day to live, what do you do?
A. Run up as much debt as possible.