Every week we ask a random person to play pundit ahead of the weekend's fixtures...
Week 10 – The Mortuary Assistant (Jean)
RUCKED: Hello. Do you know anything about rugby?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Nothing.
RUCKED: Oh. What nothing?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Wait a sec. When you score it’s called a try or something isn’t it?
RUCKED: That’s right. Anything else?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: And if they kick it through the posts they get seven points.
RUCKED: Well, yes, two points plus the five for the try. I think you do know something about rugby. What do you do for a job?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: I work in a mortuary.
RUCKED: Oh. Erm, any reason why?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Steady job – never going to run out of work.
RUCKED: Fair enough. So, back to the rugby, ever been to a game?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Went to see Watford play against Harlequins once…
RUCKED: That’s probably Saracens…
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Yeah, that’s right, they lost.
RUCKED: Only been the once?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Yeah, I went with my friend Debbie but I don’t see her much now. She got herself pregnant by the school security guard she married – she met him when she was 17 and he was about 40!
RUCKED: A school security guard? Rough area?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Yeah, kind of.
RUCKED: Anyhoo, any thoughts on who’ll win out of Saracens and Glasgow?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Saracens.
RUCKED: Any reason why? The Scots aren’t doing bad?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Hmm, well isn’t it the case that the countries that are rubbish at football are good at rugby?
RUCKED: Not necessarily.
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: I thought it was, I’ll go for Glasgow instead.
RUCKED: Okay. Erm, just out of interest did the security guard get in trouble for pulling a student?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: No, I think they only really got together after she failed her A-Levels.
RUCKED: Oh. So how about El Salvador v Newcastle?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: El Salvador, because they’ll be used to playing in the sun so will have more stamina.
RUCKED: But it’s in Newcastle – it’s going to be raining, surely they’ll be more use to that?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Erm, that would be a logical answer wouldn’t it?
RUCKED: Yes. They’ve also got Jonny Wilkinson…
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Okay, I’ll change and go for Newcastle. Jonny Wilkinson used to live near where I live.
RUCKED: Really? How interesting. How about Bourgoin v Ospreys?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Which countries are they?
RUCKED: France v Wales.
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: France.
RUCKED: Why?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Because you sound a bit Welsh.
RUCKED: No I don’t.
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Yes you do. And besides didn’t France do well at a tournament or something recently.
RUCKED: The World Cup?
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: That’s it. I’ll go for the French.
RUCKED: Thanks very much. You’ve been very helpful.
MORTUARY ASSISTANT: Glad I could help.
RUCKED’S PREDICTIONS
Glasgow v Saracens – Glasgow
Newcastle v El Salvador – Newcastle
Bourgoin v Ospreys – Ospreys
RANDOM PUNDIT’S PREDICTIONS
Glasgow v Saracens – Glasgow
Newcastle v El Salvador – Newcastle
Bourgoin v Ospreys – Bourgoin
OVERALL
Random Pundit 17 Rucked 23
YOUR PREDICTION:
Send your predictions to nowlistenhere@rucked.com
If you’re spot on, you’ll go in to a draw to win a fantastic ‘Tomaz Morais for England’ t-shirt.
Previous Pundits:
Week 1: Magners League launch
Week 2: World Cup kick off
Week 3: World Cup Group Stage
Week 4: World Cup Group Stage 3rd Round
Week 5: World Cup Group Stage 4th Round
Week 6: World Cup Group Stage Knockout Rounds
Week 7: Lollipop Lady
Week 8: The Cafe
Week 9: The Taxi
Week 10: The Cleaner
Week 11: Checkout Girl
Week 12: Girl on Train
Week 13: Santa
Week 14: The Nurse
Week 15: Traffic Warden