Call Centre Pundit is no more, long live The Random Pundit. In the first of our new-look bits of pre-match punditry, we ask, yes you’ve guessed it, a random person to play pundit…
Week 1 – Joan Bishop, The Lollipop Lady
RUCKED: Hello Lollipop Lady, what’s your name?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Joan.
RUCKED: Would you care to give us some predictions? Who do you think is going to win when Ulster play Gloucester?
LOLLIPOP LADY (it’s funnier than saying ‘Joan’): Who? What are you talking about? Is that rugby? Are you taking the micky?
RUCKED: No, not at all. We just want to know who you think will win?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Ulster.
RUCKED: Hmmm, is that because they’re so tough to beat at Ravenhill?
LOLLIPOP LADY: No, it’s just the first thing that came into my head.
RUCKED: Any reason?
LOLLIPOP LADY: I once went out with a man from Carrickfergus, near Belfast. He used to play me ‘I Wish I Was In Carrickfergus’ every morning on his stereo – so annoying.
RUCKED: Was it a special relationship?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Not really, but his father was linked with the IRA. He actually had to leave for Canada because he was on some kind of hit list.
RUCKED: Wow. Really?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Yeah, it’s true. Another ex-boyfriend of mine had a grandfather who helped build Twickenham.
RUCKED: Interesting stuff, now how about Leinster v Leicester?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Sorry, what did you say?
RUCKED: Leinster v Leicester?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Leinster? Where the hell is that?
RUCKED: An Irish province, includes Dublin.
LOLLIPOP LADY: I’ll say Dublin then. I went to Leicester once and didn’t like it very much, it was a bit of a dump.
RUCKED: Would you not go again? It may have changed?
LOLLIPOP LADY: No, there are plenty of places in the world I haven’t been to yet, so why would I go to Leicester again?
RUCKED: Fair enough, okay, finally Cardiff v Bristol?
LOLLIPOP LADY: Bristol, because my brother lives there.
RUCKED: Does he like rugby?
Not really, but his best mate used to be an Oxford Blue – is that what it’s called?
RUCKED: Yes.
LOLLIPOP LADY: He’s now working on the Olympics Committee.
RUCKED: Your brother or his mate?
LOLLIPOP LADY: His best mate, he’s very bright and he’s half Sri Lankan too.
RUCKED: That’s nice. Thank you Lollipop Lady.
LOLLIPOP LADY: Not at all, any time.
LOLLIPOP LADY’S PREDICTIONS:
Ulster v Gloucester – Ulster win
Leinster v Leicester — Dublin win
Cardiff v Bristol – Bristol win
RUCKED’S PREDICTIONS:
Ulster v Gloucester – Gloucester win
Leinster v Leicester — Leinster win
Cardiff v Bristol – Cardiff win
YOUR PREDICTION:
Send your predictions to nowlistenhere@rucked.com
If you’re spot on, you’ll go in to a draw to win a fantastic ‘Tomaz Morais for England’ t-shirt.
Previous Callcentre Pundits:
Week 1: Magners League launch
Week 2: World Cup kick off
Week 3: World Cup Group Stage
Week 4: World Cup Group Stage 3rd Round
Week 5: World Cup Group Stage 4th Round